How to control your reactions
So that you stay patient and kind...
Pre-commit to how you want to respond to a triggering event. Visualize the event happening and choose your new response. Ideally, write it down!
It's OK if you still lose control the first few times. That is normal. Your brain wasn't rewired in one day! It may take some time, but if you keep at it you will notice improvements.
At first, you may catch yourself right after the explosion. This is great! You will help to stop the ruminating thoughts that often lead to more explosions.
Then, you may catch yourself when you are feeling the anger build within. Bravo! You're gaining control to step away before a reaction you'd regret.
Lastly, you won't feel the anger at all. It's an amazing feeling when you stop getting triggered and accept the other person's level of awareness!
Go easy on yourself
Create a mantra... Today, I choose to respond with patience and kindness.
Or more specific... Today, I choose to be patient and loving with my mother.
Repeat your mantra! The more you repeat your mantra.... the faster you will rewire your brain to respond that way.
Your subconscious needs repetition to create a habit. Pre-committing to your response and then reminding yourself before, during, and after the triggering event will help you gain control of your reactions.
The clicker will help you to remember. Continue reading!
What helped me the most...
Was the clicker! I like to call him Mr. Clicker. :) Having Mr. Clicker in my hand reminded me of how I wanted to show up. It took the remembering out of the equation. I just had to hold the clicker and I was inspired to repeat my mantra before, during, and after the trigger.
Imagine, if you could repeatedly remind yourself... to respond with patience and kindness... how much easier life would get?!
Like I mentioned before, your subconscious requires repetition to form a habit. Check out this video explaining why the clicker works so well. It's a combination of the sound, the numbers measuring your success, and the simple fact that holding it reminds you of how you have committed to showing up.
If you are really ready to control your reactions and show up with love and patience with your kids, your mom, your partner... whoever triggers you... the clicker will help you get there!
The clicker changed my life! Check out this video on why the clicker works so well.