1 Trick to Building Resilience

Updated: Dec 27, 2020

The concept of resilience fascinates me. We must endure challenging moments so that we may learn to grow stronger and then the next blow is less painful. It fascinates me because we need to be knocked down to be built back up stronger. But why? Why is the only way to build resistance through adversity? Why are our brains designed to process hardships by reliving them over and over? Wouldn’t it be easier to just let go?


1. the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties; toughness:

2. the ability of a substance or object to spring back into shape; elasticity:

From the definition above it would seem that the faster we are able to recover, the faster we can get on with our lives. Wouldn’t everyone want that? So why the rumination?

I’d venture to say that the ego is at fault here. We hold onto our rightness and in return stay stuck in the fight. What if we didn’t feel the need to be right? What if everyone was entitled to their asshole behavior? No one needed to be corrected. Could it be that from their perspective and personal history… that they are right to behave that way?

Sounds great in theory but in reality… some people need to be told off. Or do they? Are you just jeopardizing your own well-being by correcting others? Or even having a point of view that someone else is wrong?

My point in all of this is that we often create our own suffering by holding onto our point of view. Those ego based thoughts that we are right and someone else needs to change… creates so much negative energy… most often in our own heads!

What if I told you you could become more resilient, you could spring back into shape, by placing your attention on your body. Yup, that’s right… a quick scan of your body brings you back to the present moment, where everything is OK. You have clothes, you have food, you have access to clean water. Life is good! In this moment, you can choose to grateful for all that you have, including loving friends, a loving heart, a peaceful mind.

This almost sounds too easy. But think of it this way… will what you are experiencing now matter to you in 10 years? If not, drop it! Ideally sooner than later so that you can get back to being peaceful and happy.

You do that by getting into your body and scanning it for sensations. Go from head to toe, moving through each body part very slowly. This is a trick I just learned from the Hoffman Institute. (I highly recommend checking out their Essentials Weekend. It was life transforming! And their follow up classes help me stay connected to my inner peace. Such a blessing!)

Final thought: We can choose resilience or we can choose to ruminate and let insignificant arguments take over our minds. I invite you to explore scanning your body for sensations the next time you get triggered. This will bring you into a state of peace and connect you to the inner dialogue that invoked the trigger. What needs of yours are not being met? What do you really wish to create in your life? Start there and then the solution will come from a grounded loving space.

You can also check out my Get Present Get Powerful training using the clicker. This training is like meditation on steroids. You will find your true power when you learn how to stay connected to your inner wisdom.

Lots of love,

Dr. Nikki

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